March 3rd 2021
We got through another Christmas and New Year. Both were pretty bleak. We rented a beautiful cottage up in Tobermory again, but it was just me, Matthew and Vinnie. Although the complete seclusion was nice, the lack of company was oppressive. I can’t handle peace and quiet; I need loud music, tons of people around, kids wreaking havoc, Nick playing his ear-splitting tunes with hundreds of his friends, Vinnie playing drums, lots of parties and dancing. Admittedly, the Stalinist covid restrictions have limited any fun people can have anyway.
Despite the isolation on the Bruce, we did come across some ridiculous people, irrationally terrified of covid, clearly brainwashed by the irresponsible fear-mongering media like the CBC, CNN, MSNBC etc. As Matthew and I approached them on an empty trail, this one old man retreated into the trees, covered his face and growled at us from afar (at least 50 feet away).
“What are you doing here?”
“Hiking,” we responded.
“Where are you from?” he hissed.
Our origins were none of his business, but we tried to be congenial and responded, “London.”
“Why are you here? The government told you to stay home. Nothing is open here. Everything is shut down, just the way I like it.”
Matthew and I just walked away, shaking our heads at the incivility and irrational paranoia that have overtaken our society. Fear is the real pandemic.
The more time goes on, the more disgusted I become with the draconian measures being used to control our lives. Covid IS NOT ebola. Yes, it is contagious, but the danger it poses to the vast majority of the population is quite small. Hence, the extensive restrictions on our movements and behaviour are reprehensible, especially the extent to which these measures are destroying the lives of young people, the forgotten population. Instead of eviscerating businesses, the music industry, the futures of our youth, the mental health of all of us, the common sensical thing to have done would have been to tell the vulnerable, the immuno-compromised and the elderly to stay away as a matter of personal responsibility and personal choice. Instead, the most vulnerable have been inadequately protected, as revealed by massive and deadly outbreaks at long-term care facilities. When Nick was severely immuno-compromised from extensive cancer treatment, he did not expect the entire society to shut down for him; to have done so would have been incredibly selfish, but that is what we are doing now.
Why should the vast majority of the population for whom the mortality rate is so low (I have a less-than 0.1% chance of dying from this virus at the age of 50 and Vinnie has less than a 0.006% chance of dying from this at 21), be forced to have their lives ruined because of a few who could potentially become severely ill? Why should Vinnie, who is now 21 and whose life has already been on pause since he was 13 (when Nick began treatment), give up even more to potentially save an 80 year old who has already had their own life and who should be taking responsibility for their own health anyway?
I know Nick would never have put up with this bullshit. He probably would have had huge parties anyway, raising his middle finger to the oppressive powers that be, drunkenly screaming at the KGB or the Gestapo as they dragged him away in cuffs, fining and jailing him.
Further to that, why would society pay attention to the government restrictions anyway when their behaviour and regulations are so inconsistent and hypocritical? I decided that when I saw Justin Trudeau not only sanctioning the racist group’s, Black Lives Matter protests - and, yes, I said racist because it is - but genuflecting to it after having sanctimoniously pontificated for weeks about the importance of social distancing and not gathering in large groups, at that moment I decided that any edicts or proclamations our overlords made in regards to this virus were completely bogus: they lost all credibility and authority in my eyes.
As I witnessed BLM protestors whining and protesting all over the world in huge herds, while others were not allowed to see their own dying relatives, it became obvious to me and I hope to others, that some lives do indeed seem to matter more; we are not all treated equally. I have been threatened by some BLM protestors who have privately messaged me, menacing me with taking away my job because I refuse to kowtow to their particular brand of racism and discrimination. I guess stating that all lives matter, that we need to judge people by the content of their character and not the colour of their skin and that the belief that there is only one race: the human race, are not enough for these BLM people who demand that you accept them as victims when there is so much evidence to support that they are not or, if they are, they are just as much victims as the rest of us. They insist on defining themselves by the colour of their skin which is exactly what the earlier civil rights protestors were trying to move away from. Martin Luther King, Jr. must be spinning in his grave at this retrograde turn of events.
I have never seen freedom of speech so under attack whether it be about racism, covid or the 2020 presidential election. If what you say doesn’t fit into the pre-existing agenda, you will be censored, ostracized or fired like many well-respected doctors, politicians and nurses. You know there is a problem in society when some powers that be are considering banning To Kill a Mockingbird, 1984, Dr. Seuss, or even that virulent racist, Laura Ingalls Wilder. I see this as nothing more than a power-grab: erase the past to prop up your misguided cause.
Just recently, after Proud Boys was officially declared a domestic terrorist group in Canada, even when no evidence was forthcoming that these charges have any basis in reality, Matthew made an FB post talking about Nick’s membership in the Proud Boys, pointing out that our experience of this organization showed that the London chapter of this group, far from being white supremacist or violent, was in fact the complete opposite. The London, Ontario Proud Boys chapter, ca. 2017-2018, welcomed men of all ethnicities, religions, races and sexual orientations. In fact, one of Nick’s greatest supporters was a gay Proud Boy of Armenian heritage, who was raising a child with his husband. Needless to say, Matthew and I were attacked for our support of this group by those who have been brainwashed into believing anything the mainstream media says, the same people who condemn Proud Boys have nothing negative to say about either Antifa and Black Lives Matter, two groups whose street violence gets a pass because they're 'in the right'. Bullshit. Street violence and anarchism is criminal activity regardless of the perpetrators. The London PB chapter has never been involved in such behaviours, to the best of our knowledge. We accept the possibility that the PB organization, if it can be called such, is not under any centralized control - so at one end of the spectrum, folks donning the PB colours probably are merely street thugs. Who knows? We don't support street thuggery by any group. Their original founder, Gavin McInnis, who established his 'movement' as a men's drinking club, but eventually stepped aside, felt the same.
When I came out defending the London Proud Boys on another post, one individual attacked me saying that he would report me to the school board as a supporter of domestic terrorism. Can you imagine? I feel so special. I have been accused of being a white supremacist and supporter of domestic terrorism all in one year. Who are these people (my accusers) and how do they get away with spreading such heinous, vindictive, hateful lies? The sad thing is that in this political climate, I am considered guilty until proven innocent, especially in light of my “white privilege”. Those so-called proponents of tolerance appear to be the ones causing the division, polarization and hate. However, I figure if Nick had the guts to stand up to these assholes when he was only 23 and even when he was declared terminal, why wouldn’t I?
I certainly have experienced this censorship and ostracism this year. Vinnie lost almost all his friends for posting “All lives matter”. Even worse, schools have become indoctrination centres, even more so than before, and are abusing their power by spreading political messages in support of Blacks Lives Matter and white privilege. Interesting. As public servants, I thought we weren’t allowed to ram our political opinions down our students’ throats. I heard teachers openly condemning Donald Trump in front of their charges and getting away with it. Imagine what would happen to me if I praised Donald Trump in front of my students?
I returned to school and discovered that I was not permitted to question the prevailing covid dogma in even the most benign ways. I suggested that we decorate the classroom door for Halloween with pictures of the students wearing masks, screaming to be released only to be told by the administration that such a door creates a negative image of the pandemic.
“Oh I’m sorry,” I said, “I completely forgot. The covid pandemic is a positive thing. My mistake.”
Can’t rile up the masses. Got to keep them in line. Got to keep the sheep in the herd. Critical thinking ist verboten.
To make matters worse, after being absent for two years, I returned to my school only to be ignored. Only a few people offered condolences and others, after I'd worked my ass off at the school for fifteen years, suggested I go to a different school or just cash in on my husband’s pension. Clearly, I was no longer welcome at my former workplace. I had no choice but to leave an institution I had genuinely loved working at.
I have seen so much irrational and uncivil behaviour in the past several months. Vinnie and I were recently at a grocery store. We were busy chatting and forgot to put up our masks, a most egregious transgression I know, which resulted in a sanctimonious 20 year old engineering student, lecturing at Vincent for being irresponsible and then proceeding to follow us around the store, going so far as to ram with his shopping cart. Shortly before that, I went to deliver food and medication to a homeless person being put up in a hotel, only to be screamed at for daring to do so during a pandemic and then being escorted off the property by security. My chance of dying from covid? So small I can’t even calculate. A sick old man's chance of dying of COVID due to a malnourishment-caused weakened immune system? A lot higher.
After a two year hiatus, Vinnie resumed university, studying physics and math, but, due to the “extreme danger” posed by covid, all of it is on-line. For some reason, it is OK for elementary and secondary students to go to school, but not university students. In addition to this, these post-secondary students are paying full tuition, not only for a sub-standard education, but with significant collateral damage to their mental health. Vinnie has not left his room in months and the on-line professors are doing little to nothing to help these kids. What are we paying for? This is why I wrote the attached petition. Please consider signing it and sharing it.
I don’t understand why we are passively accepting the restrictions on our lives. Why don’t we do what the Italians did? They opened their businesses regardless of the lock-down. If everyone does it, what is the government going to do? Gun us down in front of the Imperial Palace? I can't believe this. Politicians are cowards riding the gravy train and willing to do anything to get re-elected. Recently, protests in The Netherlands resulted in the government backing down and ending their curfew. The protestors in Holland used violence, not something I agree with, but they got the government to capitulate, which shows that people do have the power. If the masses rise up, we can get the government to comply. There are several lawyers working on lawsuits to end the restrictions on our rights and freedoms. Rocco Galati is one such individual. Here he is in conversation with several others who are fighting on our behalf behind the scenes.
Watch between the 27 and 38 minute mark.
I am not a conspiracy theorist, but the government is hiding something. Watch a video of a very well-respected doctor begging people to listen to him.
Watch between the 27 and 38 minute mark.
Facebook has censored this video and no other news networks will show it. Democrats refused to come to the congressional hearings when he was discussing this before Christmas. Why? Why is something as positive as this information being hidden from the public. I recently uncovered another petition in which someone used this video to advocate further exploration of this repurposed medication. The petition has over 300 000 signatures so far. Of course, repurposed medicine doesn’t offer the enormous financial rewards of expensive vaccines created by Big Pharma. What worries me is that the pharmacy companies rolled out their vaccines in less than 8 months. I'm not clear how safe this can be: there has been no time to study the long-term efficacy or side effects of these vaccines. I'm not alone in feeling this way. I'm far from being an anti-vaxer crackpot. All our vaccinations are up-to-date, and you won't catch polio from us!
On a positive note, I was able to gather a bunch of students together to do a Christmas Hamper Project with the UNITED SIKHS. See the two videos I posted above.
We even made t-shirts for when we go out volunteering. Our shirts show an image of my outstretched arms with my tattoo for Nick on my wrist. On the back of the shirt are Nick’s final words: What can I do for you?
My book has finally been published. You can get it either through Friesen Press or Amazon. I apologize for the ridiculous shipping costs, but you can also get an e-book version. I will be taking half the royalties and giving them to a cancer charity of my choice. I haven’t decided which charity just yet, as Nick's doctor's Act Now For Cancer charity has ended. We're negotiating with Movember, as they have an ongoing research project on testicular cancer that aligns with our aims of finding a new, more effective and less medieval treatment for this awful disease.
Currently, I’m trying to work with Movember and London Health Sciences in the hopes of setting up a fundraising project in Nick’s name which would support research being done to determine why some men relapse from this highly curable cancer and what other treatments may be available to those few and unfortunate men who do not respond to conventional treatment. However, I need a lot of money, a minimum of $20 000, to get this project rolling. I know this seems steep, but I am going to try and make that happen.
Unfortunately, ACT Now for Cancer is no longer in existence. COVID meant that it could no longer sustain itself financially through fundraising efforts. Young Adult Cancer Canada, however, is still going and we will continue to support them in whatever way we can.
Matthew is maintaining his sanity with music. His band's YouTube channel now has quite the selection of COVIDeos. But he drools at the thought of returning to live performance.
The Humber scholarship in Nicholas's name is still on.
We are still in touch with Alex and many of Nick’s friends. We managed to do a family photo for the first time in two years. It was very hard, but we are fighting hard to get back to some semblance of life.
We are trying so hard, but no day is easy. Every day starts out the same. The nightmare of a life without Nick begins all over again. The PTSD symptoms are terrible. For me, waking up is the worse. For Matthew, it's waking up in the middle of the night in a state of panic and despair. School and music are his sanctuary. For me, not so much. Our lives have been ruined, but we soldier on.
I will leave you on a positive note. Nessun Dorma . . . so glorious. I would often come home only to find Nick and his friends sticking their heads out the window singing this at the top of their lungs between hits from the bong.